took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
