to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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