A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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