you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
