Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
