Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
