From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
