Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
what day is it and did you see me today?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
