feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize