Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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