We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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