So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
