Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
