I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
