He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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