You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Drunk walkin through police station. America
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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