can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
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I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
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We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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