i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
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All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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