Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
