Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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