SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
