I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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