Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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