she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
