Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
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just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
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You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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