Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
