And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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