so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize