Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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