Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
