Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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