You can't motorboat a personality
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
