As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
