I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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