Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
