I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Shame - the story of my life.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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