i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
