how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested