I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.