Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
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looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
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So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.