if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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