We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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