he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize