Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
