If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize