I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
