yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize