I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
