you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
