I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize