I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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