hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
operation harelip BJ is a go
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
