when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
