It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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