But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
