She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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