used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
