I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we have pet lesbian snakes
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
