"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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