ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
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The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize