If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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